Chip dispensensers

Standard

Me: Reece got chippy with me.

Me: 2 pictures of my son and smashed tortilla chips all over the living room floor.

Matt: I take it he got the bag?

Me: No, he’s magically shitting tortilla chips now. He’s like a little chip dispenser.

Matt: Sell him then.

Me: And he’s doing Mio shots.

Matt: Nice.

Me: This is not a joke. He is stained orange from doing Mio shots. So don’t be surprised.

Matt: How did he get the Mio so he could do shots?

Me: Off the counter.

Me: Okay, so I am legitimately going crazy. No exaggeration here.

Matt: Why is that? (he is not surprised)

Me: I forgot my meds and my judgement is highly in question here.

Matt: You forgot them last night or the last few nights?

Me: And I think I may have forgotten more than once but I’m not 100% on that. And squirrels are furry homeless people if that explains things.

Matt: Good lord dear.

Me: And I’m breaking up with my therapist. Communication is key in any relationship (Manda brought that point up in another conversation) and she and I just don’t have that, so I’m going to have to leave her. And I need to get a referral for McKenzie from Medical but my judgement is too suspect for me to call right now.I may just tell the person I need a referral to stab people, who knows.

Matt: Maybe you should take your meds now.

Me: I did…..Now it’s the waiting game.

Matt: Okay.

Me: Me and the crazy are becoming one, and my husband won’t let me be a goldfish. (I’ll explain about the goldfish later)

Matt: Well now you know what happens when you don’t take your meds.

Me: So, I will now fully admit that I’m mentally ill, but I’m not exactly sick.

Matt: You might be but I am not a professional.

Me: I’m supposed to be a professional one day but I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle all of that, I’m not good at adulting.

Matt: Me neither. (not sure if he meant he’s not sure I can handle being a professional or if he isn’t good at adulting either)

Me: We are quite the pair.

Matt: Yes we are.

Me:You should find a better wife, I’m a shit one.

Matt: Well, I believe you are the best wife for me dear.

Me: I’m not sure, but what do I know?

Matt: I told you Reece got his attitude from you.

Me: No, just his listening skills.

Matt: Same thing.

Me: Thankfully right now he’s not as crazy as me.

Matt: True that.

Me: (Meds finally kicked in). It’s exhausting to be me!

Matt: I bet. (He means it’s also exhausting to be with me)

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