Mystery caller


You are? Because it wasn’t.

A couple months back my family moved from Germany to Georgia (that was a shocker). No, Georgia was not on my mind, but we go where the military sends us. No offense to the people who were here before me, but this place sucks! I am originally from Florida, near the Cocoa Beach area, yeah, that’s right, be jealous! Here there is no such thing as unlimited high speed internet, no Panera, etc. The list goes on of everything this place does not have. But we are making the most of it.

Coming from Germany we had to pretty much start our lives over, and get all the utilities put in our name and buy new cell phones. This is where the fun begins. Verizon…..Verizon! This is where we got our brand spankin’ new cell phones, YAY!!! The downfall, pre-used numbers. That’s right, recycled phone numbers, and you know what that means!

My phone tends to get more action than Matt’s, not that he’s really missing out on much, but I kind of feel bad sometimes that my prior phone number owner had more friends than his. My number was owned by a lady, and I have now spoken to every member of her family. I even had a really nice chat with her mom on Thanksgiving! Sweet woman, poor thing didn’t even have her daughters new number or know how to reach her. I mean who the fuck does that?

I have received new birth photos, happy holidays texts, had a long conversation about social media with her brother, been called at 3:00 AM about a death in the family (I was sorry I couldn’t make the funeral), and even gotten calls from online schools and loan companies for this girl. I am truly a part of her family now. The only thing I haven’t gotten was an invite to a wedding yet. Again, who the fuck doesn’t give their family a way to contact them? Thankfully they have me to talk to.

I also have a mystery FaceTime caller from Japan who likes to ring me at between 3 and 4 AM my time. I have answered and my husband has answered to let them know that they probably meant to call someone else. Apparently they don’t believe us. They always point the phone at the ceiling and wait to see who answers, and if we are consistent I guess. Matt say’s it’s my secret “John”, which makes me feel kinda irresistible, if truth be told. So, every time this person calls, even though they won’t talk to me, I know they secretly hope I’ll answer each time they call.


Today is a whole new story! Matt, that’s right, Matt got a mystery texter! I was so excited for him, and told him I wanted to see! So he sent me the pictures. Of course he asked if I knew the number, which my phone says no I don’t and the phone tends to know these things. So I thought I would share the conversation with you since I am so proud of my husband for having a new friend and because he actually talked to the person instead of letting them know they had the wrong number and blocking them.

Now *disclaimer* you may think my husband is an asshole for what he says (he’s in the green boxes), but I’m still proud of him for coming out of his box a little.




BTW, text-iquette people! You never start a conversation with “what do you want to do”! This is how bad things happen to people when they don’t know who they are texting! This is an FYI write yourself a damned memo, DO NOT start conversations this way! It’s a good thing Matt’s not the murdery type…I mean what the shit?

I feel kind of bad for Matt though, this was where the conversation ended, and apparently his mystery person is below the legal drinking age. Poor Matt maybe I should loan him some of my people for a little bit!  I think everyone should have a good mystery texter, caller, or new phone families.


13 thoughts on “Mystery caller

  1. OMG – this reminds me of my mystery texter who went by the name of – wait for it – WOOGIE. Ah, good ol’ Woogie. In any case, I have a very “easy” cell phone number (it’s not slutty – I mean it’s easy to remember), so I get tons of mis-dials, and me-thinks a TON of women who give out my number to randos at the bars when they’re trying to get away from them. Dear Woogie would send me hate-rants every couple of days along the lines of “why you standin me up girl?” Why, indeed? Sometimes he’d just issue orders: “yo, call me back already!” Ummm, no. I finally had to break up with him on behalf of this girl via text – I know, I know – it’s a heartless thing to do, but I didn’t want to have an actual conversation with him. I told him it was me.

    In any case, not sure if you were looking for the tribers to weigh in here with their own stories, but I hope you don’t mind, and I really enjoyed your take on the subject!

    Liked by 1 person

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