This is that moment where you create an account and it wants you to put in secret answers to random questions. You know what I’m talking about. Most of these questions are as follows:
Mothers maiden name
Street you grew up on
First car make/model
Elementary School name
Childhood nickname
That last one always gets me. Uuuummmm, hell no account I’m not telling you what my childhood nickname was. My family is fucking horrible at nicknames, and mine is long and beyond embarrassing. There are not even enough characters for that secret answer box to fit my whole nickname!
So here it is y’all. I will tell you my super secret childhood nickname that still occasionally haunts me today when some random used-to-be-family member shows up on my FaceBook. “Farnsberry Lunch Bucket Pocket Full of Rye”.
Who the shit does that to a kid? Where the hell did it come from? Who decided that this was an awesome phrase for the likes of me as a small child? I get I was a handful but really? Why couldn’t I get something simple like pumpkin, bug, kitty, or some stripper-ish name like bubbles? I mean what the shit?
So now y’all know my dirty little secret and why I don’t give my kids nicknames. I’m afraid I will traumatize them the way my family did to me!
mylifeinrambles.com 
Sorry, Boo Chicken and Farnsberry Lunch Bucket meal, that’ll be $29.99 thanks and please pull around to the first window!
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This post made me laugh out loud!!! Now THAT is a nickname!! I always thought mine was bad, too. My parents called me Boo Chicken. WTF??? They have no idea why! And my sister was Beefy Chunk. Nice.
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Nicknames are horrible all the way around! We have just 100% solidified my resolve that nicknames should never be given! Chicken Boo and Farnsberry Lunch Bucket, sounds like a fast food family meal. We should market this shit!! LOL!!
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OMG what a mouthful. I thought nicknames were supposed to be easy.
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One would think, unless you are a member of my family 😉
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Good to know, I’ll have it put on a t-shirt asap!..no way that’s fitting on a coffee cup.
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Can you make it a color change cup?
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good to know, I’ll have it put on a t-shirt asap!
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Lol, Is that my Birthday present? As long as you show up with my t-shirt I won’t have to disown you!
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I am so sorry but Bwahahahahahahaha! That is insane. Who the hell could nicknamed their child that? Oh my God, I feel sorry for you. Well, since we are giving out our deepest secret, here I go. My nickname is really Tony, because my middle name is Antonio or Anthony in English ( My father’s first name was Antonio), but that’s not the worst of it. My first name, which I don like so much, is Miguel, which in English it translates to Michael… like the Archangel Michael, that’s why my mother gave me that first name because of Archangel Michael. I thought about changing my first name, when I became and American citizen, but I knew it was going to hurt my mother, so I stayed with it, because of the respect that I have for her. So there it is, the cat is out of the fucking bag. LOL
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Lol, aren’t we all just chock full of dirty little secrets?!?!?
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My family called me Sarah TT my whole childhood. My middle name is Therese, so I always thought they just doubled the middle initial until I was about 25 and they decided to tell me the truth. It stood for Sarah The Terrible because I was such a little shit. Thanks guys.
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Lol!!! Kinda like Alexander the Great, kinda Royal.
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It certainly is a handful but your secret is safe with me. My given name is Linda but my parents always called me Lynn. I still can’t figure it out.
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Lol, at least yours can be used in public without mortification! I’ll trade you.
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