Hi y’all!  It’s been a minute since I was able to blog, but I finally have time to sit down at the computer and let you know what’s happening in my world.

You cannot trust child psychologists and therapist! I have been trying my hardest to get my oldest child a proper diagnosis and the therapy she needs, yet they only see that I have a diagnosis of my own. Wouldn’t that tell you that I might have some clue as to what mental illness looks like? Why does my diagnosis have anything to do with my child needing help? I have no clue how to get through to this lady.

Instead the kids therapist talks to me like I am 5 and mentally ill, tries to placate me and beat around the bush, and acts like I am the problem and not that my child has her own problems. I asked for a psychological assessment test, got grilled 3 different times as to why I wanted it done, and after requesting it multiple times they finally agreed. Good lord y’all, WTF? You would think they would do it just to prove me wrong (not that I’m wrong at all) if not for any other reason.

This kid has some serious issues but she manipulates everyone and is a damned good liar. I mean, she even has me fooled most of the time. I am 100% sure this child needs meds and a good bout of appropriate therapy tailored to her specific mind. All of us are at our wits end with her after 7 years of all this crazy.

I think when I wasn’t medicated it was easier to deal with because I was as mentally ill as she was so I didn’t think much of it. Now that I am properly medicated it is quite apparent that something is seriously wrong with this picture. She does great at school and with her therapist, but she is a totally different person at home. She tells me how much she hates me and everyone else in this house.

She is constantly punishing (yes, that’s right) all of us in this house for anything we did that she didn’t like or when she thinks one of us has slighted her in any way. The most recent punishment doled out to me came in the form of her stealing a good deal of my jewelry, and she sees nothing wrong with the behavior because she says “I made her do it”!!! How did I make her? This was because I wouldn’t let her have a baby with “Bae” and I was just trying to take away all of her happiness. BTW she is 12 and Bae is 11.

Why yes you should certainly have a baby and this will make your life perfect and happy, which is what she wanted me to say. She wanted me to SUPPORT this action/decision. FUCK NO! That is not by any means solid parenting. What parent would ever support this insane idea of having a baby at 12 years old? Not this one! So apparently my solid parenting meant I needed to be punished by my child and taught a lesson…totally didn’t work. Lesson learned: Do not trust the kid or Bae!

Some days I think it would be easier to handle her rage if I stopped taking my own medication. Don’t worry I know this is a bad idea and it’s not something I am willing to do, but I mean who doesn’t need a break sometimes? How do you get a therapist to believe you when your child is a completely different person in the office than at home? Why does no one else see what is going on here? When I tell her therapist what has happened at home she looks at me like I have Muchhausen by proxy. Which I absolutely do not. I want nothing more than a healthy family to balance myself out. I envy those families with there beautiful normal healthy children.

We just need a diagnosis to get on the right road here, there is no other way for us to get that diagnosis without the test. The therapist will never see what she is under the facade if she doesn’t take this test.

Has anyone else ever dealt with something like this? How did you deal with it?