Hey all! So the medication vacation didn’t work and here is what I have realized. Dun-Dun-Dun-Dun-Dun I am going through a depressive phase! I mean who the hell knew? I sure didn’t.

You never realize when your highs are SUPER high and your lows make you not want to exist what it would actually feel like to have normal people depression. Now don’t take that the wrong way, depression sucks and I’m not saying it’s not horrible for normal people. All I am saying is that this shit ain’t so bad for me compared to what I have previously experienced.

Things suck, life blows, there is no way out, and I am a total buzz kill right now but this shit ain’t so bad. I didn’t even know I was depressed until my therapist and shrink both told me that’s what this thing I couldn’t really describe was. So this is new and notable.

What was depression like before you ask? It was hell. Pure and utter hell. All I did was cry on my couch. I couldn’t leave my house, didn’t get dressed, didn’t shower. My OCD went absolutely wild and I had to clean everything absolutely spotless if I wasn’t paralyzed by the utter misery in my mind. I would ruminate on one topic for hours making myself more upset and finding no answers or solutions. I truly wanted to not exist (like ever). I didn’t think about suicide, I just wished I had never been born. The pit was bottomless.

Thankfully I only hit a depression once a year or so and spent most of my time being manic. Weeeeeeeeee! So this is absolutely new, and kind of interesting to my analytical little brain. I am not broken like I thought I was, I am just depressed. That’s extremely exciting news. I totally thought I was broken. Yay, not broken forever!

So as I was saying, This Shit Ain’t so Bad!

P.S. – Google “not so bad”.

P.P.S – here are some of the images it came up with for me.

Is it Joe? Is it? Spinach salad can be quite delicious but so are donuts dammit.

This totally made me laugh and made my day! I still have not been able to solve the cube without taking off the stickers and replacing them. Winning!

My chart would just be a big circle of what you find. So put that fucking wedge back in there with the rest of my surprises. No one likes to get short changed on surprises.

Who the hell is Kathy?

Is this a thing? Why does he look so awful about being naked? What is the purpose of your face?

How is this not so bad? That dog looks like he would love to hear me dropping some people food on the floor.